I was bored...
My phone looks plain...
So... Ta Da!!! There you have it...
30 December 2005
21 December 2005
Fashion No-no
20 December 2005
Experiment with PS effects
I was so traumatized by the Lemmi's incident that I can't sleep... So I end up fooling around with some photoshop effects. Do feel free to drop me any comments. :D
Almost a murderer...
I was almost a murderer.
Lemmiwinks struggled to keep herself alive just awhile ago...
OK... I nearly drowned her... Maybe I shouldn't have tried to clean her with a wet towel. Then she wouldn't have panicked and jump off my hands into the tub full of water.
It was totally chaotic! She was squeaking and her body was overturned, about 3/4 submerged into the water. To save her, I have to spill the water onto the floor. Then I picked her up with something from my laundry (it was an emergency, remember?). I know how hamsters hate being blow dry with a hair dryer. They will always struggle to avoid the to torturous heat and I'm really guilty that I caused poor Lemmiwinks to go through that agonizing process and also the mental distress caused by the whole accident.
The aftermath was messy. The water spread all over the floor of my room. As a result, I have to pick up my partially wet clothes, soak up the water, mop my room and wash lots of rugs/towels. It's sure tedious! But it's worth it. At least Lemmi is still alive and kicking, running actively on her little wheel. I really pray hard that she'll be alright and not fall sick tomorrow. *Fingers crossed*
Lemmiwinks struggled to keep herself alive just awhile ago...
OK... I nearly drowned her... Maybe I shouldn't have tried to clean her with a wet towel. Then she wouldn't have panicked and jump off my hands into the tub full of water.
It was totally chaotic! She was squeaking and her body was overturned, about 3/4 submerged into the water. To save her, I have to spill the water onto the floor. Then I picked her up with something from my laundry (it was an emergency, remember?). I know how hamsters hate being blow dry with a hair dryer. They will always struggle to avoid the to torturous heat and I'm really guilty that I caused poor Lemmiwinks to go through that agonizing process and also the mental distress caused by the whole accident.
The aftermath was messy. The water spread all over the floor of my room. As a result, I have to pick up my partially wet clothes, soak up the water, mop my room and wash lots of rugs/towels. It's sure tedious! But it's worth it. At least Lemmi is still alive and kicking, running actively on her little wheel. I really pray hard that she'll be alright and not fall sick tomorrow. *Fingers crossed*
19 December 2005
What a fantabulous weekend!
A fantastic weekend is enough to drive all your Monday Blues away... anytime!
FRIDAY
After much anticipation, Ministry of Sound has finally set foot in our sunny little island! The invasion was massive... On the opening night, the Choppies and I actually waited for about 3 hours to get to the front of the queue. The wait was almost in vain 'cause the door bitch was telling us that the club was "Full House". So they will only let the public in when some of the invited guests (those with invites) leave.
But we were lucky, cause we bumped into Yvonne, whose friend got us all invites for the entry! That really save us from having a disastrous evening... Many thanks to our lucky stars, Yvonne and Eugene...
I think Zouk is really gonna face some big time competition. M.O.S. is so much more spacious, has nicer deco, more competitive cover charge, and in my opinion, has a nicer mix of music. They also seperated the genres of music into different rooms. So now, the Choppies don't have to sulk, cos there's something for everyone! Hooray to that!!!
SATURDAY
Saturday was pretty relax. I did crystal tattoo at this block party thingy at West Coast. After that, I met up with Cheryl and Joey to chill out. We did something we haven't done for ages: bowling. Our skills are atrocious! None of our total score actually exceed 100. But nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves! I think Joey and Cheryl are such an adorable couple. It's funny how 2 individuals of different worlds come together and perhaps it's their differences that kept them close. Like what my bro describes, it's The Romance of the Goth-Boy and the Happy-go-lucky-Girl. Spot the difference?
SUNDAY
Finally I managed to get out of my regime of sleeping late on Sunday mornings! My bro and me went to Wild Wild Wet.
It was so crowded. Well, blame it on the school holidays. Damn it. As always, it takes a long time to queue for each slide and we got fed up after awhile. Plus all those people and their fawked-up attitude (kiasu-ism, queue-cutting skills and other socially disguisting behaviours) are not making things any better. So we kept hanging out in the Lazy River and the Wave Pool cause there's no need to queue for our turn.
The water really has some great therapeutic effects on me. When the water carasses your body, it's like a subtle massage, easing the tense muscles, making me forget about all the vexation I had throughout the week. My bro and I like it so much, we were thinking of getting the yearly pass so that we can go more often. But It's really not cheap. *Bawls*
FRIDAY
After much anticipation, Ministry of Sound has finally set foot in our sunny little island! The invasion was massive... On the opening night, the Choppies and I actually waited for about 3 hours to get to the front of the queue. The wait was almost in vain 'cause the door bitch was telling us that the club was "Full House". So they will only let the public in when some of the invited guests (those with invites) leave.
But we were lucky, cause we bumped into Yvonne, whose friend got us all invites for the entry! That really save us from having a disastrous evening... Many thanks to our lucky stars, Yvonne and Eugene...
I think Zouk is really gonna face some big time competition. M.O.S. is so much more spacious, has nicer deco, more competitive cover charge, and in my opinion, has a nicer mix of music. They also seperated the genres of music into different rooms. So now, the Choppies don't have to sulk, cos there's something for everyone! Hooray to that!!!
SATURDAY
Saturday was pretty relax. I did crystal tattoo at this block party thingy at West Coast. After that, I met up with Cheryl and Joey to chill out. We did something we haven't done for ages: bowling. Our skills are atrocious! None of our total score actually exceed 100. But nonetheless, we enjoyed ourselves! I think Joey and Cheryl are such an adorable couple. It's funny how 2 individuals of different worlds come together and perhaps it's their differences that kept them close. Like what my bro describes, it's The Romance of the Goth-Boy and the Happy-go-lucky-Girl. Spot the difference?
SUNDAY
Finally I managed to get out of my regime of sleeping late on Sunday mornings! My bro and me went to Wild Wild Wet.
It was so crowded. Well, blame it on the school holidays. Damn it. As always, it takes a long time to queue for each slide and we got fed up after awhile. Plus all those people and their fawked-up attitude (kiasu-ism, queue-cutting skills and other socially disguisting behaviours) are not making things any better. So we kept hanging out in the Lazy River and the Wave Pool cause there's no need to queue for our turn.
The water really has some great therapeutic effects on me. When the water carasses your body, it's like a subtle massage, easing the tense muscles, making me forget about all the vexation I had throughout the week. My bro and I like it so much, we were thinking of getting the yearly pass so that we can go more often. But It's really not cheap. *Bawls*
12 December 2005
Award winning Joke
My friend emailed me this. I thought it was kinda lame. Well, I hope it humoured you...
*****
AWARD WINNING JOKE
Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him,
and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed
our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."
*****
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian.
*****
AWARD WINNING JOKE
Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him,
and asks for his autograph.
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed
our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed
your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the
Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
me."
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the
same."
*****
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition
organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian.
09 December 2005
Racism disrupts peace
This picture is taken from the movie poster of American History X. If you happened to watch that movie, you would know that it is about how brutal racism can get.
Well, inevitably, discrimination happens in every society. Personally, I feel that every single one of us are guilty of habouring prejudice at some point in time.
For example: I really detest English-speaking Chinese(read SINGAPOREANS) who proudly proclaims that they really suck at their Mandarin usage. Afterwhich, delibrately attempt to speak a few words in their broken Mandarin and chuckle away. I mean, come on, if their Mandarin is as sucky as how they put it, why try to embarass themselves? As a result, making a mockery out of the language and an absolute fool of themselves. It's already bad enough that they don't have sufficient understanding of their own mother tongue. Why emplify your shortcoming? *Shrugs*
A friend was talking to me about racism over dinner just now. He was kinda put away by the * race. So much so that he started stigmatizing their common religion and scruntizing facts and reports to prove his point. I feel that it is really unfair to be judging and stereotyping a certain race based on some notorious behaviour from the black sheeps of the community. I could say that I am not exactly a racist. But I dislike certain people of certain races because I detest their behaviour, and not their race or religion. I hope my dear friend Q will learn how to draw the line between personal prejudice and racism. You'll never know. You might have to work under a * race superior in future. Ha ha,,, And what if the society rejects the un-beautiful like you and me?
Better equip yourself with armour before we get stoned!
Well, inevitably, discrimination happens in every society. Personally, I feel that every single one of us are guilty of habouring prejudice at some point in time.
For example: I really detest English-speaking Chinese(read SINGAPOREANS) who proudly proclaims that they really suck at their Mandarin usage. Afterwhich, delibrately attempt to speak a few words in their broken Mandarin and chuckle away. I mean, come on, if their Mandarin is as sucky as how they put it, why try to embarass themselves? As a result, making a mockery out of the language and an absolute fool of themselves. It's already bad enough that they don't have sufficient understanding of their own mother tongue. Why emplify your shortcoming? *Shrugs*
A friend was talking to me about racism over dinner just now. He was kinda put away by the * race. So much so that he started stigmatizing their common religion and scruntizing facts and reports to prove his point. I feel that it is really unfair to be judging and stereotyping a certain race based on some notorious behaviour from the black sheeps of the community. I could say that I am not exactly a racist. But I dislike certain people of certain races because I detest their behaviour, and not their race or religion. I hope my dear friend Q will learn how to draw the line between personal prejudice and racism. You'll never know. You might have to work under a * race superior in future. Ha ha,,, And what if the society rejects the un-beautiful like you and me?
Better equip yourself with armour before we get stoned!
06 December 2005
She has gotten my attention!
My confession:
I think this is superficially the prettiest Singaporean I have ever ever came across.
In case you got me wrong, I seriously think this girl is some major eye-candy. And considering the fact that she actually graduated from RJC, I bet she's no bimbo. I mean, who can resist looking at someone so beautiful? My colleague told me that there's speculations about her beauty being artificial. But what the heck. She's still hell of a babe. Yeah! Haha!
Do check out her
blog.
14 November 2005
deadpigs
Look at these 3 lifeless beings!! At 5am in the morning, the Choppies had finally surrender themselves to the temptation of the Z-monster. I bet they were dreaming about the fun time we had prancing around the club, grinning at each other like idiots and danced till our legs went sore... heh heh.. Sleep tight girls! *poofs*
08 November 2005
Kick that crave, you fat-ass!
How do anyone lose 5kgs in a week?
Hmm.. As impossible as it may seem, I'm going to attempt the feat. Well, blame it on the sudden bomb that dropped on me. Don't ask me what. I'm not going to say. It's kinda embarassing to tell too, especially for when it happens to such a girl like me. So I'm going to bid farewell to all the goodies and embrace all you lean mean greenies~! *Yucks*
Hmm.. As impossible as it may seem, I'm going to attempt the feat. Well, blame it on the sudden bomb that dropped on me. Don't ask me what. I'm not going to say. It's kinda embarassing to tell too, especially for when it happens to such a girl like me. So I'm going to bid farewell to all the goodies and embrace all you lean mean greenies~! *Yucks*
07 November 2005
Wisdom, the unseen
Wisdom 6:12-16
Wisdom is found by those who look for her
Wisdom is bright, and does not grow dim.
By those who love her she is readily seen,
and found by those who look for her.
Quick to anticipate those who desire her, she makes herself known to them.
Watch for her early and you will have no trouble:
you will find her early and you will have no trouble:
you will find her sitting at your gates.
Even to think about her is understanding fully grown;
be on alert for her and anxiety will quickly leave you.
She herself walks about looking for those who are worthy of her
and graciously shows herself to them as they go,
in every thought of theirs coming to meet them...
Wisdom is found by those who look for her
Wisdom is bright, and does not grow dim.
By those who love her she is readily seen,
and found by those who look for her.
Quick to anticipate those who desire her, she makes herself known to them.
Watch for her early and you will have no trouble:
you will find her early and you will have no trouble:
you will find her sitting at your gates.
Even to think about her is understanding fully grown;
be on alert for her and anxiety will quickly leave you.
She herself walks about looking for those who are worthy of her
and graciously shows herself to them as they go,
in every thought of theirs coming to meet them...
04 November 2005
There's so much of myself in you, as you are in me
I can't deny that I do enjoy spending time with my bro. Frankly, I look forward to spending a big part of my time at home with my one and only sibling.
Most of my friends who actually have huge age-gaps with their siblings face the problem of communicating with them. Actually, I am afraid that this could be an issue I'll be facing in future. You know, kids in their adolescence stage, have so-called teenage angst. This little angelic kid-brother of mine might turn into just another rebellious prat. Then he'll find it's uncool to hang out with his sister who is 10 years his senior. He'll probably forbid me to hold his hand, to acknowledge him as "Boy-Boy", to pick up his phone-calls, to meet his friends...But so far, he's still pretty much in control.
Never is there a dull moment with him around though. I wish we can enjoy everyday just like today. It was a simple day. We had a good Lunner (erhmm.. you know, like the fusion of lunch and dinner?), went to Kino, got some books, had fried Mars bars, tried our luck on a couple of capsule toys then headed home.
On our way back, my brother turned to me and said, "Hey sis, erhmm, I just wanna thank you for today. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in a long time." Right... He's appreciative of me. And that's a priceless gift to me. That's what made an ordinary day, a special day to remember. ;D
Most of my friends who actually have huge age-gaps with their siblings face the problem of communicating with them. Actually, I am afraid that this could be an issue I'll be facing in future. You know, kids in their adolescence stage, have so-called teenage angst. This little angelic kid-brother of mine might turn into just another rebellious prat. Then he'll find it's uncool to hang out with his sister who is 10 years his senior. He'll probably forbid me to hold his hand, to acknowledge him as "Boy-Boy", to pick up his phone-calls, to meet his friends...But so far, he's still pretty much in control.
Never is there a dull moment with him around though. I wish we can enjoy everyday just like today. It was a simple day. We had a good Lunner (erhmm.. you know, like the fusion of lunch and dinner?), went to Kino, got some books, had fried Mars bars, tried our luck on a couple of capsule toys then headed home.
On our way back, my brother turned to me and said, "Hey sis, erhmm, I just wanna thank you for today. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in a long time." Right... He's appreciative of me. And that's a priceless gift to me. That's what made an ordinary day, a special day to remember. ;D
02 November 2005
retrospect
I recollect:
Your rhythmic breathing close to me...
resembling a wordless lullaby, lulling me into slumber
I reminisce:
The glee in your eyes...
such child-like anticipation...
There! You've spotted the Ben & Jerry's stand
I enshrine:
Those words from other end of the phone line...
Telling me to dry my eyes, the world is not the end with you by my side
I envision:
Endless list of ridiculous names
Jude, Jordice, Jordan Jr... and many many more
I hold dear:
The hope, the promise, the adoration,
the faith, the friendship, the trust, the passion,
the tenderness, the moment, the emotion,
But most of all,
Your hand on mine through every season
Your rhythmic breathing close to me...
resembling a wordless lullaby, lulling me into slumber
I reminisce:
The glee in your eyes...
such child-like anticipation...
There! You've spotted the Ben & Jerry's stand
I enshrine:
Those words from other end of the phone line...
Telling me to dry my eyes, the world is not the end with you by my side
I envision:
Endless list of ridiculous names
Jude, Jordice, Jordan Jr... and many many more
I hold dear:
The hope, the promise, the adoration,
the faith, the friendship, the trust, the passion,
the tenderness, the moment, the emotion,
But most of all,
Your hand on mine through every season
27 October 2005
Extract from Mei's blog
I got this off my friend's blog. I really like it cause it's sort of a reflection of my feelings too. Beautiful stuff...
artist.
artist love to express themselves.
unknowingly
perhaps through writing,
perharps through singing,
perharps through drawing,
perharps all the time but you dun realise it.
they are artist. they love to express themselves.
yet not all pple love their works.
they do wat they like and in a way expressing who they are.
u dun need everyone's approval, cos that's the truth. even there's no one, u know at the end of the day u are happy with wat u are doing.
yup, and jus by explaining wat u are expressing, it's already a joy.
till one finds favour, oh~ ur whole world suddenly jus paints with colorful rainbows.
i love being who i am.
i love telling them the beaty i am painting. i wish someday they see the beauty i see.
all are artist. they are.
they are creatures, only artists accepts.
=)
artist.
artist love to express themselves.
unknowingly
perhaps through writing,
perharps through singing,
perharps through drawing,
perharps all the time but you dun realise it.
they are artist. they love to express themselves.
yet not all pple love their works.
they do wat they like and in a way expressing who they are.
u dun need everyone's approval, cos that's the truth. even there's no one, u know at the end of the day u are happy with wat u are doing.
yup, and jus by explaining wat u are expressing, it's already a joy.
till one finds favour, oh~ ur whole world suddenly jus paints with colorful rainbows.
i love being who i am.
i love telling them the beaty i am painting. i wish someday they see the beauty i see.
all are artist. they are.
they are creatures, only artists accepts.
=)
25 October 2005
It about the passion...
I have been kind of busy lately... Juggling a full-time job and some freelance assignments. Busy round the clock and missing out on quite alot of sleep. Somehow I still feel the adrenelin pumping and I wanted more... More of this satisfaction I get from completing an assignment and getting professional reviews (both positive and negative). It makes me grow in my creative sense and in my character. I guess this is what defines a little thing calls "passion".
Actually, passion didn't really keep me going all the time. I did thought of giving up design lately. Not because I lack the interest, but more of the unfavourable market situations and the unjustified pay. However, I'm lucky to meet people who actually inspired me in how passion can push one through his moment of difficulty and convert it to a source of unlimited potentials. They are successful in their own rights and there must be a reason why they are clinging on to their passion all these while. To me, interacting with them is like I've stepped into a classroom once again, just that, the content of the class is not technically or theoretically based. Perhaps, that is what is commonly known as "the school of life".
I came across this quote sometime back; "To know the journey ahead, ask those who came back". There is a controversy to this statement. Yes, it is important to learn from other's life journey. But what if some of the replies are negative? Would you brave all weathers to continue the journey? Or just kill your passion and stop short wherever you stand? That was actually the dilemma I faced every now and then. Art and design was an interest I carried my whole life. When I made up my mind to take up a design course in the polytechnic, instead of going to JC, my parents frowned. They gave the green light anyway, but reluctantly. I felt discouraged when I didn't topped my modules in school and started to think back on my decision. Like most of the things in life, regrets are considered a loss of time. Frankly I didn't regret. But I think it has been a bumpy road so far. I faltered at times while struggling to stand tall. However, whenever I feel my faith ebbing away, there will always be an invisible hand lifting me, dusting the dirt off my back and set me off to complete my journey.
But seriously, where does the road leads? An average designer's career lifespan isn't as long as an accountant's. Perhaps somewhere along the way, there will be a crossroad. Then will I be waiting to ask those who are returning from the journey?
I wish I had a street directory for that...
Actually, passion didn't really keep me going all the time. I did thought of giving up design lately. Not because I lack the interest, but more of the unfavourable market situations and the unjustified pay. However, I'm lucky to meet people who actually inspired me in how passion can push one through his moment of difficulty and convert it to a source of unlimited potentials. They are successful in their own rights and there must be a reason why they are clinging on to their passion all these while. To me, interacting with them is like I've stepped into a classroom once again, just that, the content of the class is not technically or theoretically based. Perhaps, that is what is commonly known as "the school of life".
I came across this quote sometime back; "To know the journey ahead, ask those who came back". There is a controversy to this statement. Yes, it is important to learn from other's life journey. But what if some of the replies are negative? Would you brave all weathers to continue the journey? Or just kill your passion and stop short wherever you stand? That was actually the dilemma I faced every now and then. Art and design was an interest I carried my whole life. When I made up my mind to take up a design course in the polytechnic, instead of going to JC, my parents frowned. They gave the green light anyway, but reluctantly. I felt discouraged when I didn't topped my modules in school and started to think back on my decision. Like most of the things in life, regrets are considered a loss of time. Frankly I didn't regret. But I think it has been a bumpy road so far. I faltered at times while struggling to stand tall. However, whenever I feel my faith ebbing away, there will always be an invisible hand lifting me, dusting the dirt off my back and set me off to complete my journey.
But seriously, where does the road leads? An average designer's career lifespan isn't as long as an accountant's. Perhaps somewhere along the way, there will be a crossroad. Then will I be waiting to ask those who are returning from the journey?
I wish I had a street directory for that...
15 September 2005
Power Flush!
We wee, we crap into them everyday. We are fussy about using them in public. We hate the snail-crawl queue. We complained about the auto-sensored flush that activates when we shit. We leave our shit in the potty if the flush is faulty.
And yah. Singaporean females do have really long stools. They are so long and heavy, the average auto-matic flushers proclaims their incompetency. For two days in a row, I have visited toilets with crap left behind as souvenirs. Actually I felt really amazed rather than disguisted. How on earth can anyone ever have such thick and long crap??? And the second one (at Toa Payoh Central's toilet), is estimated to be at least 20cm in length and has hairy stuff (like ginseng roots) sticking out of its ends. It could be easily mistaken as a dead fetus.
Since the authorities are going to increase the number of toilet cubicles and bowls in public toilets, I think they should also think about upgrading the flushers too. If not, a toilet bowl with stools stuck in them is as good as a useless potty.
*A Big Heartfelt Thank You to all the janitors*
And yah. Singaporean females do have really long stools. They are so long and heavy, the average auto-matic flushers proclaims their incompetency. For two days in a row, I have visited toilets with crap left behind as souvenirs. Actually I felt really amazed rather than disguisted. How on earth can anyone ever have such thick and long crap??? And the second one (at Toa Payoh Central's toilet), is estimated to be at least 20cm in length and has hairy stuff (like ginseng roots) sticking out of its ends. It could be easily mistaken as a dead fetus.
Since the authorities are going to increase the number of toilet cubicles and bowls in public toilets, I think they should also think about upgrading the flushers too. If not, a toilet bowl with stools stuck in them is as good as a useless potty.
*A Big Heartfelt Thank You to all the janitors*
07 September 2005
The Truth
Why do words have weight?
Are they used to tell the truth or to make up the truth we percieve?
Nothing can hurt us and heal us more than this invisible sword.
Am I a victim to that?
Have I been slashed, munipulated and axed?
Am I dead?
Huminity has extinct?
What is the very thing I believe in?
Who am I to say?
Who will tell me?
I'm looking for the answer beyond words.
Are they used to tell the truth or to make up the truth we percieve?
Nothing can hurt us and heal us more than this invisible sword.
Am I a victim to that?
Have I been slashed, munipulated and axed?
Am I dead?
Huminity has extinct?
What is the very thing I believe in?
Who am I to say?
Who will tell me?
I'm looking for the answer beyond words.
09 August 2005
My mother, the Mad
The bitch has struck again. My mother is mad-ass crazy. And I literally mean it. I think she's psychologically unbalanced and she need professional help. She can hurl insults about others to herself for an hour or two even when she knows no one's listening. She'll got berserk if you ever critize one bit of her. It's like for every critism you give, you'll get a hundred-folds in return. She's always threatening to kill herself. And today, exceptionally, she threatened to kill me with a burning hot iron. Besides the attempted physical assualt, there's also the mental bit. Her acid tongue almost got me driving a knife into my heart, 'cos I feel I've lost the purpose to live.
I've decided to look for some family counselling programmes to analyse if my mom is really unsound up there. We can't go on like that. I've been through 22 years of hell. It has got to stop. Somewhere. Somehow.
I've decided to look for some family counselling programmes to analyse if my mom is really unsound up there. We can't go on like that. I've been through 22 years of hell. It has got to stop. Somewhere. Somehow.
18 July 2005
Point to ponder 1
Mr Fantastic from the Fantastic Four has the ability to elongate any part of his body by will.
How would sex with him be like?
I wonder...
How would sex with him be like?
I wonder...
10 July 2005
What are friends for? Really...
Today, I felt like I'm on the peak of moody's point. Even clumsy line-dancing aunties can't twitch my mouth to a smile. For today it's a sad day. 'Cause, I've silently marked the unremarkable death of a friendship.
Seriously, do you guys ever had a friend you considered as your best-ie at one point of time in life? Someone you thought will be your soul-mate for life? Someone you see being your bridesmaid/bestman at your wedding? Someone who will be god-parent to your kids? And what-so-ever beautiful things friendship can paint? This is the very naive dream I believed in someone I've known for years. However, the dreams had ceased...
The hang-over from a disillusioning concoction followed. Tears flowed with flashbacks of our already-extinct happy times. And she don't know shit. 'Cause we don't do emo. Perhaps like men, sharing of emotions are for wussy friends. "We are fun-loving people! Yeah..." Whatever... That was a couple of years back.
Since then, I've long come to terms with how acquainted we are. I guess we are just different afterall. And I'm not exactly the coolest kid in town. Why would anyone be bothered with me? So fuck it. Life goes on and shit.
You might be asking. Perhaps it's some misunderstanding or you're just so fucking sensitive. And maybe I am sensitive. Remember.. Emos are for wussies. Well, wussy little me.
The fatal stab happened not too long ago. I've borrowed something from her. Let's just say, a laptop mouse. I understand that she's leaving for her studies down-under and she needed it. So we tried to arrange a time to meet up. Well, meet up for what? To simply pass her the mouse or to have time for a good solid good-bye? I always thought it's the latter. But in her messages to me, I can only feel that she wants the mouse badly. One of the messages read "I'm really not in the mood to wait anymore. I really need that thing. Thanks." Wussy little me felt so disappointed. So so disappointed. No mention of a chance of meeting? "Yeah, see you tomorrow or something." I thanked her nonetheless for helping in my time of need. Mission accomplished. Don't think there's a need for some solid good-byes.
Mushy good-byes are for wussies too..
Seriously, do you guys ever had a friend you considered as your best-ie at one point of time in life? Someone you thought will be your soul-mate for life? Someone you see being your bridesmaid/bestman at your wedding? Someone who will be god-parent to your kids? And what-so-ever beautiful things friendship can paint? This is the very naive dream I believed in someone I've known for years. However, the dreams had ceased...
The hang-over from a disillusioning concoction followed. Tears flowed with flashbacks of our already-extinct happy times. And she don't know shit. 'Cause we don't do emo. Perhaps like men, sharing of emotions are for wussy friends. "We are fun-loving people! Yeah..." Whatever... That was a couple of years back.
Since then, I've long come to terms with how acquainted we are. I guess we are just different afterall. And I'm not exactly the coolest kid in town. Why would anyone be bothered with me? So fuck it. Life goes on and shit.
You might be asking. Perhaps it's some misunderstanding or you're just so fucking sensitive. And maybe I am sensitive. Remember.. Emos are for wussies. Well, wussy little me.
The fatal stab happened not too long ago. I've borrowed something from her. Let's just say, a laptop mouse. I understand that she's leaving for her studies down-under and she needed it. So we tried to arrange a time to meet up. Well, meet up for what? To simply pass her the mouse or to have time for a good solid good-bye? I always thought it's the latter. But in her messages to me, I can only feel that she wants the mouse badly. One of the messages read "I'm really not in the mood to wait anymore. I really need that thing. Thanks." Wussy little me felt so disappointed. So so disappointed. No mention of a chance of meeting? "Yeah, see you tomorrow or something." I thanked her nonetheless for helping in my time of need. Mission accomplished. Don't think there's a need for some solid good-byes.
Mushy good-byes are for wussies too..
The Eagle that never soar
Here's an interesting African Fable I read from a forum.
The Eagle that never soar
A man found an eagle's egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.
All his life, the eagle, thinking he was a prairie chicken, did whatever the other prairie chickens did. He scratched in the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. And he flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that's how prairie chickens were supposed to fly.
Years passed. The eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents, it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong wooden wings.
"What a beautiful bird!" said the eagle to his neighbor. "What is it?"
"That's an eagle - - the chief of the birds," the neighbor clucked. "But don't give it a second thought. You could never be like him."
So the eagle never gave it another thought. And it died thinking it was a prairie chicken."
So do you dare flip those wings of yours?
The Eagle that never soar
A man found an eagle's egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.
All his life, the eagle, thinking he was a prairie chicken, did whatever the other prairie chickens did. He scratched in the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. And he flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that's how prairie chickens were supposed to fly.
Years passed. The eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents, it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong wooden wings.
"What a beautiful bird!" said the eagle to his neighbor. "What is it?"
"That's an eagle - - the chief of the birds," the neighbor clucked. "But don't give it a second thought. You could never be like him."
So the eagle never gave it another thought. And it died thinking it was a prairie chicken."
So do you dare flip those wings of yours?
08 July 2005
Possessed
Be gone Glutton Spirit!
I command you!
Be gone!
The lethal poison you casted on my dieting-soul!
Caused merciless pounds depositing in my body-whole!
Ruthlessly cursed by your spell of endless cravings,
Feels like I need to stock up every evening.
Your powerful talons have no plans to release,
So I have hunger pangs to please.
Time & time I want to be slim & trim,
But it's been so long since I visit a gym!
So...
Be gone Glutton Spirit!
I beseech you!
Be gone!!!
P.S.: Haha.. it's just something lame I came up with. Really feels like I'm possessed. I keep eating. As if it's some-kind of disorder. And yes.. I've gained 2kgs ald! The horror!!!!
I command you!
Be gone!
The lethal poison you casted on my dieting-soul!
Caused merciless pounds depositing in my body-whole!
Ruthlessly cursed by your spell of endless cravings,
Feels like I need to stock up every evening.
Your powerful talons have no plans to release,
So I have hunger pangs to please.
Time & time I want to be slim & trim,
But it's been so long since I visit a gym!
So...
Be gone Glutton Spirit!
I beseech you!
Be gone!!!
P.S.: Haha.. it's just something lame I came up with. Really feels like I'm possessed. I keep eating. As if it's some-kind of disorder. And yes.. I've gained 2kgs ald! The horror!!!!
04 July 2005
The Booger Man
Today, I met the infamous the Booger Man. Well...
I met the Booger Man on my bus home at the end of day. He slumped ungraciously into his seat and started sneezing. Then he let all the booger oozed out from his nostrils. The Booger Man had nothing to clean his mucus with. Before I knew it, he started blowing his nose on his palms. He then smudge the content of his palms all over the seats. I felt so disguisted just but staring at him from the corner of my eye. Booger Man caught me staring at him. I gave him a sting eye. He felt uneasy and moved to the back of the bus and started blowing his nose all over again.
I seriously hope SBS cleans their seats with sanitizers.
P.S.: Please SBS cleaners, keep us safe from the attack of the Booger Man.. Pretty Please!!!
I met the Booger Man on my bus home at the end of day. He slumped ungraciously into his seat and started sneezing. Then he let all the booger oozed out from his nostrils. The Booger Man had nothing to clean his mucus with. Before I knew it, he started blowing his nose on his palms. He then smudge the content of his palms all over the seats. I felt so disguisted just but staring at him from the corner of my eye. Booger Man caught me staring at him. I gave him a sting eye. He felt uneasy and moved to the back of the bus and started blowing his nose all over again.
I seriously hope SBS cleans their seats with sanitizers.
P.S.: Please SBS cleaners, keep us safe from the attack of the Booger Man.. Pretty Please!!!
03 July 2005
Supreme Being
Amen! The Supreme Being has spoken to me. And NO... He's not Jesus.
The Supreme Being based his scriptures on the media... But how much can the media say?
The Supreme Being knows the world.. But does He knows me?
The Supreme Being listens.. But cuts you off in the midst of your every sentence.
The Supreme Being respects you.. But only when you think he's right.
The Supreme Being gives comfort.. But in his own fashion.
The Supreme Being tries to convert me. But NO.. I wasn't convinced.
He has failed to make me walk his path. Thus, He has gaven up on me and moved on to preach his teachings to the rest of the world.
Now my insides are all mixed up. Losing your "religion" can be a hard thing to do. After all, emotional ties are the hardest to break. Well, at least I can count on Jesus.
The Supreme Being based his scriptures on the media... But how much can the media say?
The Supreme Being knows the world.. But does He knows me?
The Supreme Being listens.. But cuts you off in the midst of your every sentence.
The Supreme Being respects you.. But only when you think he's right.
The Supreme Being gives comfort.. But in his own fashion.
The Supreme Being tries to convert me. But NO.. I wasn't convinced.
He has failed to make me walk his path. Thus, He has gaven up on me and moved on to preach his teachings to the rest of the world.
Now my insides are all mixed up. Losing your "religion" can be a hard thing to do. After all, emotional ties are the hardest to break. Well, at least I can count on Jesus.
18 June 2005
bitch
Money not only fucking makes the world goes round. It makes that fucking bitch happy too. I will not say who this bitch is. Let's just say she's close to me. Fucking calculative. Fucking proud. Fucking complain-y. It'll be good that the sky will rain dollars and cents and make sure she drown in it! I fucking hate money now! And I fucking hate being broke and poor. Stupid irony.
Now for another bitchy story. I can't believe that bitch (another one!?) from school actually beat my classmate and got the internship in this pretty big advertising firm. I don't see the beauty in her work anyway. Probably she just put on her shortest skirt and her fakest slang... and the bitch got her position in the company. I won't be surprised if she'll be trying new positions on her way to the top! Or maybe she just likes to be on top?
What's up with the society these days? Girls are turning bitchy, women are turning bitchy, even fucking aunties are turning bitchy. This is a fucked up society. "Money talk, bitches walk". Try disputing that...
Now for another bitchy story. I can't believe that bitch (another one!?) from school actually beat my classmate and got the internship in this pretty big advertising firm. I don't see the beauty in her work anyway. Probably she just put on her shortest skirt and her fakest slang... and the bitch got her position in the company. I won't be surprised if she'll be trying new positions on her way to the top! Or maybe she just likes to be on top?
What's up with the society these days? Girls are turning bitchy, women are turning bitchy, even fucking aunties are turning bitchy. This is a fucked up society. "Money talk, bitches walk". Try disputing that...
07 June 2005
post-graduation emo...
The sudden and generous gust of relief simply left me overwhelmed. Everything has been said and done. And I have officially ended my student life. The time-span of a year seemed condensed. As cliche as it may sound, it's all gone in a blink of an eye. I miss all my super-blithesome classmates, the adrenaline rush each time we had assessment and especially our stay in UK. It's like the best time in all my life as a student.
I'm glad I didn't screw it up for once. I wouldn't say I got it right but the result is really more than what I expected. And for that, I must really give thanks to my one and only beloved God. I prayed for strength and determination and it was practically bestowed to me. I seriously don't think I can make it anywhere without Him.
I'm glad I didn't screw it up for once. I wouldn't say I got it right but the result is really more than what I expected. And for that, I must really give thanks to my one and only beloved God. I prayed for strength and determination and it was practically bestowed to me. I seriously don't think I can make it anywhere without Him.
14 May 2005
Desperado
Let's just say some guys are really trying a wee bit too hard to "expand" their circle of friends. I really can't help but to blog about this guy who messaged me on Friendster recently. Unfortunately and fortunately, I'm not attractive enough to be his target. Well, let's just cut the chase and have a sneek peek at his messages and my response.
Desparado's 1st msg:
Hi,
Is saturday once more.Time to chill out ya.but
I am sick, therefore staying @ home.
watching ppl swim in the ool side, may go study
room to read lor. so boring, feel like going out to
[party....
Well, i knew that u got some1 liao, therefore, I
crave and wish to noe yr lady frez (the both of
them took wif GREEN colour backgroyund)
.
Meanwhile, I hope to hear from U soon.
My Reply:Sorry but my friend is also attached.
Desparado's 2nd msg:
Well, Good day,
It seem like u got the intention to intro one of yr
lady frez to me ya.
WEll, It was due to work load.. I miss out party
time for the past many yrs liao, meanwhile, If u hav
A lady frez to ..Do giv me her contactv to follow, I
owe U a meal
I igonored that message. So the next one came...
Desparado's 3rd msg:
Hi Candice ,
don keeps saying ; the word "sorry but my lady
friend is also attached'...
I only hope tat you could intro one of yr lady frez
whos still available ya.
Hoping to hear from u soon, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say thks a lot.
My 2nd Reply:
Hi,
I hope you realised that I have my own things to
juggle and I don't have time to play match-maker
to a stranger.
P/S: "Hoping to hear from u soon, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say thks a lot." is not a nice
way to talk. Hope you'll find your happiness soon.
(Well, I didn't have a copy of that msg so I think that's roughly what I wrote.. haha..)
Apparently, he wasn't very pleased with my reply...
Desparado's 4th msg:
well,
OUR account hav ben terminated ya
Thanks..
read tis ; if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I
Candice, hope u hav go to school(bo-tah-chei ) b4
huh...
, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say s a lot." is not a nice
way to talk. Hope you'll find your happiness soon...
So here's my latest reply
I'm pretty please not to find a friend in you. Seems like
you are not only DESPERATE, you are also ungentlemanly
and petty.. Kind of uncommon for guys of your age.. Now
I see why you need strangers like me to introduce
girls to you...
I don't usually talk this way to people. Hope you'll feel
exceptionally special...
P/S: I'm ald happy.. Thanks for those blessings... Btw, maybe
you should rethink your statement when you say I "bo-tah-chei"... I shall not say more.
End of the insult ping-pong?
Seriously, he has the guts to even tell me that I "bo-tah-chei" (never go to school). Please re-read the content of his messages. Dear jury, please judge accordingly...
So far in all my history as a Friendster member, I've never encountered anyone like that. Strangers with bad english, yes. Strangers who asked for your friends' contacts, yes. Desperados, yes. But never a man of that caliber.
For those who knows me, I'm seldom unkind to people. But once someone like that step on my tail, I'm not to be tampered with... muahahaha...
To Mr Desperado, my advice to you, "Please do not cast stones at other houses, when yours is made of glass." Understand?
Desparado's 1st msg:
Hi,
Is saturday once more.Time to chill out ya.but
I am sick, therefore staying @ home.
watching ppl swim in the ool side, may go study
room to read lor. so boring, feel like going out to
[party....
Well, i knew that u got some1 liao, therefore, I
crave and wish to noe yr lady frez (the both of
them took wif GREEN colour backgroyund)
.
Meanwhile, I hope to hear from U soon.
My Reply:Sorry but my friend is also attached.
Desparado's 2nd msg:
Well, Good day,
It seem like u got the intention to intro one of yr
lady frez to me ya.
WEll, It was due to work load.. I miss out party
time for the past many yrs liao, meanwhile, If u hav
A lady frez to ..Do giv me her contactv to follow, I
owe U a meal
I igonored that message. So the next one came...
Desparado's 3rd msg:
Hi Candice ,
don keeps saying ; the word "sorry but my lady
friend is also attached'...
I only hope tat you could intro one of yr lady frez
whos still available ya.
Hoping to hear from u soon, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say thks a lot.
My 2nd Reply:
Hi,
I hope you realised that I have my own things to
juggle and I don't have time to play match-maker
to a stranger.
P/S: "Hoping to hear from u soon, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say thks a lot." is not a nice
way to talk. Hope you'll find your happiness soon.
(Well, I didn't have a copy of that msg so I think that's roughly what I wrote.. haha..)
Apparently, he wasn't very pleased with my reply...
Desparado's 4th msg:
well,
OUR account hav ben terminated ya
Thanks..
read tis ; if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I
Candice, hope u hav go to school(bo-tah-chei ) b4
huh...
, if this is a BIG issue
to U, then nvm- I wanna say s a lot." is not a nice
way to talk. Hope you'll find your happiness soon...
So here's my latest reply
I'm pretty please not to find a friend in you. Seems like
you are not only DESPERATE, you are also ungentlemanly
and petty.. Kind of uncommon for guys of your age.. Now
I see why you need strangers like me to introduce
girls to you...
I don't usually talk this way to people. Hope you'll feel
exceptionally special...
P/S: I'm ald happy.. Thanks for those blessings... Btw, maybe
you should rethink your statement when you say I "bo-tah-chei"... I shall not say more.
End of the insult ping-pong?
Seriously, he has the guts to even tell me that I "bo-tah-chei" (never go to school). Please re-read the content of his messages. Dear jury, please judge accordingly...
So far in all my history as a Friendster member, I've never encountered anyone like that. Strangers with bad english, yes. Strangers who asked for your friends' contacts, yes. Desperados, yes. But never a man of that caliber.
For those who knows me, I'm seldom unkind to people. But once someone like that step on my tail, I'm not to be tampered with... muahahaha...
To Mr Desperado, my advice to you, "Please do not cast stones at other houses, when yours is made of glass." Understand?
02 May 2005
time?
Waiting. Anticipation. It didn't happen. Time after time. Slowly, it became a norm and I don't expect anything anymore. Numb? Maybe...Or perhaps passion no longer exist. Even the strongest rock crumbles under the constant siege of tidal waves, time destroys. Time gives and takes everything. Time also makes me adapt.
Confusion... I can't suppress neither can I express. Sentiments... Perhaps like an hour glass, every bit eventually slips away. Takes some effort to get things back to the other side, but as soon as that's done, it starts slipping away all over again.
**I guess it's really confusing to read all these... Recent feelings, can't be help. There's no where to let out. I can't exactly mention this over my blog too... :(
Confusion... I can't suppress neither can I express. Sentiments... Perhaps like an hour glass, every bit eventually slips away. Takes some effort to get things back to the other side, but as soon as that's done, it starts slipping away all over again.
**I guess it's really confusing to read all these... Recent feelings, can't be help. There's no where to let out. I can't exactly mention this over my blog too... :(
28 April 2005
mis-spelled
Oh my.. What kind of a coo-coo-nathan am I? I can actually mis-spelled "patriotism" as "patronism"! There's a vast difference between the two, ok? Haha..
Just got the email strap with the "time-bomb".. Know why? Cause when the deadline's here, my classmate will all be brutally "massacred". Haha.. Ok.. Enough of my Unhumourous Humour. Probably what Jordan refer to as "tumor in your humour", pretty much a rip-off from some song.
The stay-over at Cheryl's place was pretty neat last night. We just can't stop talking. Well, it is indeed true when they describe : "2 women = a market"... I felt the closeness and warmth of friendship once again. Awww... What good are we without friends, right???
I'm kinda chilling to some Classical music. Yesh, classicals are pretty neat, at times... Something to take me away from the R&Bs, Rock and Punk. I particularly like Bach's Suite No. 1, Prelude played by Yo Yo Ma. And also some of Tchaikovsky's. Those of Tchai's are very story-telling. Pieces like Swan Lake and the Nutcracker Suite. I'm surprise to even find Peter and the Wolf. I think my all-time favourite is still Air on G-string, a very soothing piece, also by Bach. When I tell people, they always poke at the word "G-string". I don't know what to say to that.. *shrugs*
Not many people know this side of me. But besides Classical music, I'm a big fan of musicals. And secretly, my unrealistic ambition is to be part of the crew *erhmm.. backstage, I mean..*, do some stage designing, many even some prop or costume design, tour the world with the cast, curtsies during curtain calls, roaring applause, crowd shouting "Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore", Stares back at crowd with the oh-so-touched teary eye... Arghh.. This is life! But *slap* back to reality, deadline aka time-bomb is going to explode in my face in less than a month. And I'm like less than 10% done. Without this degree I can forget about going anywhere lah.. haha.. So I'm going to enclose myself in my burrow to churn that project out! Go passion! Go ambition! Go dreams! Yeah right.. Dream on.. haha.. Whatever..
Just got the email strap with the "time-bomb".. Know why? Cause when the deadline's here, my classmate will all be brutally "massacred". Haha.. Ok.. Enough of my Unhumourous Humour. Probably what Jordan refer to as "tumor in your humour", pretty much a rip-off from some song.
The stay-over at Cheryl's place was pretty neat last night. We just can't stop talking. Well, it is indeed true when they describe : "2 women = a market"... I felt the closeness and warmth of friendship once again. Awww... What good are we without friends, right???
I'm kinda chilling to some Classical music. Yesh, classicals are pretty neat, at times... Something to take me away from the R&Bs, Rock and Punk. I particularly like Bach's Suite No. 1, Prelude played by Yo Yo Ma. And also some of Tchaikovsky's. Those of Tchai's are very story-telling. Pieces like Swan Lake and the Nutcracker Suite. I'm surprise to even find Peter and the Wolf. I think my all-time favourite is still Air on G-string, a very soothing piece, also by Bach. When I tell people, they always poke at the word "G-string". I don't know what to say to that.. *shrugs*
Not many people know this side of me. But besides Classical music, I'm a big fan of musicals. And secretly, my unrealistic ambition is to be part of the crew *erhmm.. backstage, I mean..*, do some stage designing, many even some prop or costume design, tour the world with the cast, curtsies during curtain calls, roaring applause, crowd shouting "Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore", Stares back at crowd with the oh-so-touched teary eye... Arghh.. This is life! But *slap* back to reality, deadline aka time-bomb is going to explode in my face in less than a month. And I'm like less than 10% done. Without this degree I can forget about going anywhere lah.. haha.. So I'm going to enclose myself in my burrow to churn that project out! Go passion! Go ambition! Go dreams! Yeah right.. Dream on.. haha.. Whatever..
27 April 2005
patriotism
Woa... My tongue is tinkling from the conversation I just had minutes ago... I just got my "conversational-drive' going and I can't stop! Even when my partner on the other side of the phone was already in "screen-saver" mode. I'm going to convert this energy into my blog.. haha..
Sharing knowledge is indeed a beautiful thing. And I viewed it as a powerful form of ballyhooing any kind of information, ever heard of the term "by word of mouth"? Yeah, that's what I meant... There's so much to learn from others. Take it with an open mind and learn. Give some food for your thoughts. Pick on a topic and battle it out with a debate. That's my favourite part.
Since I'm now a full-fledge adult and possess voting power, I should put in my 2-cents worth about our relatively new political figure here. It's none other than PM, Lee HL. When he first assumed the PM position, I thought he'll be just a figure living in his father's shadow. No doubt, his dad had indeed brought Singapore forward into economical limelight, in Asia at least, and also lead us to live the comfortable life we have now. It would be harder for him to cast a futher milestone. However, I can't turn a blind eye to the effort he put in developing national identity amongst us youngsters. To think about it, how many of us are actually proud to be Singaporeans? And to confess, how many of us complain about Singapore so much that at one point of time thought of migrating when the time is right? I have these exact thoughts before when I was a little younger. I used to think Singaporeans are ugly, They are kiasu, kiasi and Sing-lish is an ultimate disgrace. Nevertheless, our home is our home. And our culture and heritage is what we should be proud of, and humbly embrace it. Why look at the ugly side of Singaporeans? If you think that the grass is greeener on the other side of the world, I really think you should start travelling. This is the only ground where you are treated like first-class citizens, you get the right to complain, you get to walk along Orchard road smugly without racism comments (ok.. for me, at least). Personally I've been to places.. And in some places I don't called home, I totally got judged by my colour and labelled as a Communist Pig. And my less fortunate friends got kicked by some total strangers. Why? Just because of our colour...
I used to work in an English joint during the Worldcup season. Actually I was impressed by the patriotism those expats expressed when they came in for the game. At the sound of their national anthem, they sang along, loudly. I don't think us, Singaporean, will croon to the tune of Majulah Singapura anywhere. And to mention, one embarassing incident, during the semi-finals of the Tiger Cup at the National Stadium. The one where Singapore versus Mynnmar. The amount of Singaporean fans to the opposing team was 4:1. The Burmese fans truly sang their hearts out to their national anthem but in comparasion to our local counterpart, you can literally hear a pin drop from where I was sitting. Have all our Lions supporters lost their voices? From my judgement, apparently not! Not from all the "Referee Ka-U!!!"s, "Kelong ah!!!!"s, "Stupid Agu!! Your head gold (blonde), very heavy is it!!!"s...
From all these, highest level of patriotism: Anticipate for the 9th of August every year. Each Singaporean's heart will soar as high as the sparks of the fire works will take them *oh yes! We love Singapore!* and evanesce almost the same time the fireworks stop...
P/S: Since fireworks has such amazing powers, dear political leaders... You know what to do during election season! hehe..
Sharing knowledge is indeed a beautiful thing. And I viewed it as a powerful form of ballyhooing any kind of information, ever heard of the term "by word of mouth"? Yeah, that's what I meant... There's so much to learn from others. Take it with an open mind and learn. Give some food for your thoughts. Pick on a topic and battle it out with a debate. That's my favourite part.
Since I'm now a full-fledge adult and possess voting power, I should put in my 2-cents worth about our relatively new political figure here. It's none other than PM, Lee HL. When he first assumed the PM position, I thought he'll be just a figure living in his father's shadow. No doubt, his dad had indeed brought Singapore forward into economical limelight, in Asia at least, and also lead us to live the comfortable life we have now. It would be harder for him to cast a futher milestone. However, I can't turn a blind eye to the effort he put in developing national identity amongst us youngsters. To think about it, how many of us are actually proud to be Singaporeans? And to confess, how many of us complain about Singapore so much that at one point of time thought of migrating when the time is right? I have these exact thoughts before when I was a little younger. I used to think Singaporeans are ugly, They are kiasu, kiasi and Sing-lish is an ultimate disgrace. Nevertheless, our home is our home. And our culture and heritage is what we should be proud of, and humbly embrace it. Why look at the ugly side of Singaporeans? If you think that the grass is greeener on the other side of the world, I really think you should start travelling. This is the only ground where you are treated like first-class citizens, you get the right to complain, you get to walk along Orchard road smugly without racism comments (ok.. for me, at least). Personally I've been to places.. And in some places I don't called home, I totally got judged by my colour and labelled as a Communist Pig. And my less fortunate friends got kicked by some total strangers. Why? Just because of our colour...
I used to work in an English joint during the Worldcup season. Actually I was impressed by the patriotism those expats expressed when they came in for the game. At the sound of their national anthem, they sang along, loudly. I don't think us, Singaporean, will croon to the tune of Majulah Singapura anywhere. And to mention, one embarassing incident, during the semi-finals of the Tiger Cup at the National Stadium. The one where Singapore versus Mynnmar. The amount of Singaporean fans to the opposing team was 4:1. The Burmese fans truly sang their hearts out to their national anthem but in comparasion to our local counterpart, you can literally hear a pin drop from where I was sitting. Have all our Lions supporters lost their voices? From my judgement, apparently not! Not from all the "Referee Ka-U!!!"s, "Kelong ah!!!!"s, "Stupid Agu!! Your head gold (blonde), very heavy is it!!!"s...
From all these, highest level of patriotism: Anticipate for the 9th of August every year. Each Singaporean's heart will soar as high as the sparks of the fire works will take them *oh yes! We love Singapore!* and evanesce almost the same time the fireworks stop...
P/S: Since fireworks has such amazing powers, dear political leaders... You know what to do during election season! hehe..
22 April 2005
my mom, the bitch
I realised how your perception of life is exactly how it is going to be. If you think it's smooth sailing, it'll be.. Even when you are riding through rough patches, you know you are going to get over it someday. However, if you think that the whole world owes you a living and everyone is against you, then there is never gonna be a happy moment.
I have one such person in my family. She has given me life but not exactly the warmth of what a family should be. She's a total drama queen. I know... It's a terrible sin to bitch about your own mother. But I really can't stand her. She commands, I obliged. And she wanted more. Sheesh... And her most ultimate and powerful weapon... Her tears... Once she cries, everyone starts accusing me, be it whether I'm right or wrong. I don't even have a chance to explain or redeem myself.
She makes a big hoo haa over every single teeny weeny issues. That's her so-called poise of an empress dowager. And she claims that it's us (her family) that made her blood pressure really high and one day she's gonna die. Well, the other most frequently used tactic is to scream like a mad person and afterwhich, wail loudly to lament how awful she is just to be alive, the dialogue as predicted will goes something like that, (theatrically) "Oh heaven! What on earth have I done in my previous life to deserve the suffering I go through now? In my next life, please let me incarnate as a cow! I'm sure to be happier that way. Pleeeaaassee...... Wish me a quick death..." blah blah blah.. Stuff of that nature.. and almost as part of the routine, will attempt acts like opening the window and putting one leg out or taking a knife and threaten to commit sucide. The first few times she attempted, we panicked. Now, I'll just wait and see... After all, to take your own life takes alot of courage. Because from past experiences, she did drive me to the extend of trying to killing myself, but I had cold feet at the last hour.
Plus, she likes to talk bad about people and try to put others in bad light. Yeah.. She is a bad-case of severe self-denying. Working as a secretary, mind you.. normal secretary, not even confidential secretary, ok!... She complains about being under paid.. Please loh. $1800 is not low. And she put herself in high regard. I know, she's from River Valley High, attained A'levels', pretty good for the 1970's standard. But she don't know how to be thankful just to get a job at her age. How can she ever be contented. Seriously, I have never in my whole life met anyone bitcher than that. I felt bad having to say all these about my mom. I'm supposed to love my mom... I wouldn't say I don't love her but it's hard to accept her attitude, not at times, rather it's all the time. PMS everyday, every hour, every min ok!
My maternal aunties are identical to my mom. Together, they can be Zhen Qin II (you know the super bloody long Hong Kong drama series). Actually it's longer-running than that Zhen Qin ok! Very juicy storyline... issues revolving the broken family, youngest sister disowning the family, the re-union, the divorce, the shot-gun marriages, the boot-licking to richer relatives, their brother's sucided link to demon possession... blah blah blah... Well, there are definately many skeletons in my family's closet. Some which I know, some I think I better not know.
This is just a part of my life. And I regard it as a small percentage. I wanna look at it this way because I chose to. Everything is the matter of choice. The end of the world is never here until you summon it.
I have one such person in my family. She has given me life but not exactly the warmth of what a family should be. She's a total drama queen. I know... It's a terrible sin to bitch about your own mother. But I really can't stand her. She commands, I obliged. And she wanted more. Sheesh... And her most ultimate and powerful weapon... Her tears... Once she cries, everyone starts accusing me, be it whether I'm right or wrong. I don't even have a chance to explain or redeem myself.
She makes a big hoo haa over every single teeny weeny issues. That's her so-called poise of an empress dowager. And she claims that it's us (her family) that made her blood pressure really high and one day she's gonna die. Well, the other most frequently used tactic is to scream like a mad person and afterwhich, wail loudly to lament how awful she is just to be alive, the dialogue as predicted will goes something like that, (theatrically) "Oh heaven! What on earth have I done in my previous life to deserve the suffering I go through now? In my next life, please let me incarnate as a cow! I'm sure to be happier that way. Pleeeaaassee...... Wish me a quick death..." blah blah blah.. Stuff of that nature.. and almost as part of the routine, will attempt acts like opening the window and putting one leg out or taking a knife and threaten to commit sucide. The first few times she attempted, we panicked. Now, I'll just wait and see... After all, to take your own life takes alot of courage. Because from past experiences, she did drive me to the extend of trying to killing myself, but I had cold feet at the last hour.
Plus, she likes to talk bad about people and try to put others in bad light. Yeah.. She is a bad-case of severe self-denying. Working as a secretary, mind you.. normal secretary, not even confidential secretary, ok!... She complains about being under paid.. Please loh. $1800 is not low. And she put herself in high regard. I know, she's from River Valley High, attained A'levels', pretty good for the 1970's standard. But she don't know how to be thankful just to get a job at her age. How can she ever be contented. Seriously, I have never in my whole life met anyone bitcher than that. I felt bad having to say all these about my mom. I'm supposed to love my mom... I wouldn't say I don't love her but it's hard to accept her attitude, not at times, rather it's all the time. PMS everyday, every hour, every min ok!
My maternal aunties are identical to my mom. Together, they can be Zhen Qin II (you know the super bloody long Hong Kong drama series). Actually it's longer-running than that Zhen Qin ok! Very juicy storyline... issues revolving the broken family, youngest sister disowning the family, the re-union, the divorce, the shot-gun marriages, the boot-licking to richer relatives, their brother's sucided link to demon possession... blah blah blah... Well, there are definately many skeletons in my family's closet. Some which I know, some I think I better not know.
This is just a part of my life. And I regard it as a small percentage. I wanna look at it this way because I chose to. Everything is the matter of choice. The end of the world is never here until you summon it.
relief
I'm alive!... The nightmare is over... The thought of myself being exploited by some cheap-skate company to do some job makes me felt cheap too. Well, that's the life of a designer. High expection, under paid, compensated with lots of personal time. No shit about it...
Let me move forward in life into another headache. My major project. Besides being heavily criticized by some lecturer I've never talk to before, I felt that the freelance job has took away almost all my drive toward my idea. My self-esteem has been at it's all time low. All these late sleepless night made me aged at least 5 years, heavy eyebags, prominent eye-rings, heavy bottom (a result of sitting too much) and finger cramps (from the clicking of mouse). It's not worth it for a freaking $200...
However, I'm happy that a new pope has been elected. Pope Benedict XVI... May he be as prophecized: " From the glory of the olive".. Deliver of peace. My greatest wish is to see catholics and protestant christians united as one. And also for the Jews and Muslims to accept Christ as God. After all, we are all counting on the same big BOSS... As I myself is a great believer of peace and harmony, I feel that animosity of any kind is the root of hatred and there is a negative butterfly effect to it.
Let me move forward in life into another headache. My major project. Besides being heavily criticized by some lecturer I've never talk to before, I felt that the freelance job has took away almost all my drive toward my idea. My self-esteem has been at it's all time low. All these late sleepless night made me aged at least 5 years, heavy eyebags, prominent eye-rings, heavy bottom (a result of sitting too much) and finger cramps (from the clicking of mouse). It's not worth it for a freaking $200...
However, I'm happy that a new pope has been elected. Pope Benedict XVI... May he be as prophecized: " From the glory of the olive".. Deliver of peace. My greatest wish is to see catholics and protestant christians united as one. And also for the Jews and Muslims to accept Christ as God. After all, we are all counting on the same big BOSS... As I myself is a great believer of peace and harmony, I feel that animosity of any kind is the root of hatred and there is a negative butterfly effect to it.
16 April 2005
Jaded... The only verb to describe how exactly I'm feeling now. My fuels are running low from all the late nights. So is my youth... My pair of eyebags are definately not showing me any mercy.
Through all the hussle and bustle of the lifestyle we lead, is the primary goal of living just to fill our lungs and stomachs to keep the mechanicms of our mortal shell running? Sole purpose of living is somehow more than that. How I wish it's just that simple.
Work: we work hard indeed to put food on the table, put clothes on ourselves. And some evil employers just like to make our lives harder because some other people didn't make it easier for them. What kind of a f-up world are we living in? I've been curious. I've been questioning the logic of life for the longest time... Why is there even the money in the first place? Why do we all have to be slaves to $$$?? Why do we have to study for the sake of earning more $$$?? I hate it... Cause I'm penniless. I'm shit without dollars and cents. Cause the logic of living, working and spending just doesn't make sense...
Through all the hussle and bustle of the lifestyle we lead, is the primary goal of living just to fill our lungs and stomachs to keep the mechanicms of our mortal shell running? Sole purpose of living is somehow more than that. How I wish it's just that simple.
Work: we work hard indeed to put food on the table, put clothes on ourselves. And some evil employers just like to make our lives harder because some other people didn't make it easier for them. What kind of a f-up world are we living in? I've been curious. I've been questioning the logic of life for the longest time... Why is there even the money in the first place? Why do we all have to be slaves to $$$?? Why do we have to study for the sake of earning more $$$?? I hate it... Cause I'm penniless. I'm shit without dollars and cents. Cause the logic of living, working and spending just doesn't make sense...
01 April 2005
hehe...
Now you know why I love him so much... Such a darling, isn't he?.. But his words are making me blush.. heh...
Comments *Prior to my previous entry*:
Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are those we sadly overlook. U are a intelligent, beautiful girl with a heart of gold and u bring joy to everyone u come in touch with. Im sure everyone who knows you can attest to that. Don't ever feel this way about yourself, u should be proud of what God and your parents have given you, and see in yourself what others have seen in you! If u think you are a wall-flower, then u are a gorgeous one that envelopes everyone with your laughter,playfulness and fun-loving nature that we all have come to love and appreciate. You're just like a young,blooming sunflower who needs sunlight to grow and glow. And im just like the sunlight to provide u with that. Maybe somedays there'll be darkness and rain, but one thing's for sure, i'll always be there to brighten up your day once again, like a rainbow after the storm! And dont forget, your talents in design are jus like flower seeds, they need time to bloom so dont fret! Your time will come! ">
Jordan to everyone: Do all of u think Dymphna Candice is a talented designer, a fabulous frd and a joy bringer to everyone??
Everyone: Of course we do! We love her because... She is Candice and she is unique and no one can every replace her in our lives. ">
# posted by Jordi : 11:59 AM
Comments *Prior to my previous entry*:
Sometimes the most beautiful things in life are those we sadly overlook. U are a intelligent, beautiful girl with a heart of gold and u bring joy to everyone u come in touch with. Im sure everyone who knows you can attest to that. Don't ever feel this way about yourself, u should be proud of what God and your parents have given you, and see in yourself what others have seen in you! If u think you are a wall-flower, then u are a gorgeous one that envelopes everyone with your laughter,playfulness and fun-loving nature that we all have come to love and appreciate. You're just like a young,blooming sunflower who needs sunlight to grow and glow. And im just like the sunlight to provide u with that. Maybe somedays there'll be darkness and rain, but one thing's for sure, i'll always be there to brighten up your day once again, like a rainbow after the storm! And dont forget, your talents in design are jus like flower seeds, they need time to bloom so dont fret! Your time will come! ">
Jordan to everyone: Do all of u think Dymphna Candice is a talented designer, a fabulous frd and a joy bringer to everyone??
Everyone: Of course we do! We love her because... She is Candice and she is unique and no one can every replace her in our lives. ">
# posted by Jordi : 11:59 AM
Female Vs Male
I guess I'm a WEIRD WOMAN... Do take a look at these test results. Am I a headache to MAN-kind or what?? haha...
Your Brain is 80.00% Female, 20.00% Male |
Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! |
You Are 35% Normal (Occasionally Normal) |
 You sure do march to your own beat... But you're so weird, people wonder if it's a beat at all You think on a totally different wavelength And it's often a chore to get people to understand you |
30 March 2005
newest work
Yup Yup Yup... Finally my very own blog skin!.. Spent 2 days on the illustration and a night on the new layout... I guess it's worth it..
late supper
Oh gosh... 3.30am.. and I just finished supper... Or rather left-overs from dinner. My mom took the effort to cook, I really have no heart to reject it. And yes... I'm gaining mass. My face is sagging. I'm not dressing quite trendy. I'm not popular. I'm also this thing called "inferior complexity" is kicking in.
Inferiority, that's nothing new to me. I've been feeling this since god knows when. I think I'm very insecure and maybe plus I need alot of assurance as well. I'm pathetic. I used to wallow in self-pity quite frequently... Hang my head while I walk, like a withering flower. I admire those who have a great deal of self-confidence. I can't do that. But I have gradually come to terms with what I am or what I'm not. I'm contented being a wall-flower. I'm envious of the beautiful and the talented. Yes I am... But being myself, I'm gratified...
Darling, I know I'm plain. But thanks for assuring me... Love you for that dear.
I am just so freaking emo...
Inferiority, that's nothing new to me. I've been feeling this since god knows when. I think I'm very insecure and maybe plus I need alot of assurance as well. I'm pathetic. I used to wallow in self-pity quite frequently... Hang my head while I walk, like a withering flower. I admire those who have a great deal of self-confidence. I can't do that. But I have gradually come to terms with what I am or what I'm not. I'm contented being a wall-flower. I'm envious of the beautiful and the talented. Yes I am... But being myself, I'm gratified...
Darling, I know I'm plain. But thanks for assuring me... Love you for that dear.
I am just so freaking emo...
24 March 2005
words of wisdom?
I just happened to see this comment posted by "Anonymous"... Sounds like words of wisdom...
ppl will tends to cherish things only after they lose it.
choose the easy way out might seems so much simple but u might regret in the future.
whereas if something not going to last then no pt holding on as wasting time and energy for both sides.
# posted by Anonymous : 12:43 AM
Anyway, "Anonymous", Your message is rather contridicting.. But I believe your message is to tell me to stop and smell the roses in life.. Yah??
ppl will tends to cherish things only after they lose it.
choose the easy way out might seems so much simple but u might regret in the future.
whereas if something not going to last then no pt holding on as wasting time and energy for both sides.
# posted by Anonymous : 12:43 AM
Anyway, "Anonymous", Your message is rather contridicting.. But I believe your message is to tell me to stop and smell the roses in life.. Yah??
Spongebob
The Spongebob Squarepants was quite disappointing. A true blue Spongebob Fan will know it anytime... It just lost the real essense of the cartoon series... Overdoing the whole lame but funny factor. Perhaps it's just good as a 15 min per section cartoon, not a 1 1/2 hour animation.
I'm finally getting a real headstart in my project. Getting the flow-chart planned out, ready to design the interface of the interactive. Alot of work to be done. It's gonna be a real busy week for me. Tomorrow, there's church visiting, then there's good friday and on sunday.. it's Easter! I'm gonna get baptize on Easter! I don't know if my parents will be there. Just hope that they'll accept and respect my decision to be a Catholic.
Well, gonna get back to work.. Have to keep my entry snappy in case my computer hangs again.. Computers are such pain in the ass... Errhhh!!!
I'm finally getting a real headstart in my project. Getting the flow-chart planned out, ready to design the interface of the interactive. Alot of work to be done. It's gonna be a real busy week for me. Tomorrow, there's church visiting, then there's good friday and on sunday.. it's Easter! I'm gonna get baptize on Easter! I don't know if my parents will be there. Just hope that they'll accept and respect my decision to be a Catholic.
Well, gonna get back to work.. Have to keep my entry snappy in case my computer hangs again.. Computers are such pain in the ass... Errhhh!!!
19 March 2005
let's get down down down..
**Let's get down, down, down, down..."
I'm feeling really under the weather today. Didn't even work... Sighz..Seems like I'm kinda stuck in a continual streak of bad-luck recently...
First, my computer is affected with some "shut-down syndrome" virus (same fate as the owner), it's so irritating, it keeps restarting itself every 20 mins or so. I so super-duper frustrated cause it "restarted" while I'm preparing some paperwork for my proj!! Sheesh!!
Then I'm down with flu and fever today... Feeling very "un-constructive" at home. I can't work to earn extra $$, neither can i work on my major proj! ERRRHHH...
Seriously, the series of unfortunate events just doesn't stop as yet. I discovered that the ringer function on my mobile phone is also down... So I'll have to rely on the vibration to take calls...
I don't feel too good about my self recently as well.. Somehow insecure.. Don't know why lah.. Maybe expecting too much of myself... Sigh..
I'm feeling really under the weather today. Didn't even work... Sighz..Seems like I'm kinda stuck in a continual streak of bad-luck recently...
First, my computer is affected with some "shut-down syndrome" virus (same fate as the owner), it's so irritating, it keeps restarting itself every 20 mins or so. I so super-duper frustrated cause it "restarted" while I'm preparing some paperwork for my proj!! Sheesh!!
Then I'm down with flu and fever today... Feeling very "un-constructive" at home. I can't work to earn extra $$, neither can i work on my major proj! ERRRHHH...
Seriously, the series of unfortunate events just doesn't stop as yet. I discovered that the ringer function on my mobile phone is also down... So I'll have to rely on the vibration to take calls...
I don't feel too good about my self recently as well.. Somehow insecure.. Don't know why lah.. Maybe expecting too much of myself... Sigh..
16 March 2005
Anger
To the one I care...
I treat your sisters like they were my own. I hope you realise the damage you have done. Please think before you spill nasty things out...
I treat your sisters like they were my own. I hope you realise the damage you have done. Please think before you spill nasty things out...
14 March 2005
Walk with me, Lord
**Walk with me, Lord**
I have just encountered my first ever church retreat. It was awesome... I felt that my dear Lord had answered my prayers, doubts and worries in little, subtle ways. Through the experience, I got to interact with people whom I never talk to before in class. I've learnt so much from their experience, their perspectives on issues and their life stories... And I've also learn not to "judge a book by it's cover". I can't believe a person that I thought was Ah-beng-ish, is actually someone who has really strong faith and belief in God. It impressed me...
God works in many mysterious ways, indeed!
P.S.: Jordan, do you recall how co-incidentally we met and made up after our heated arguement? Amazing isn't it???
I have just encountered my first ever church retreat. It was awesome... I felt that my dear Lord had answered my prayers, doubts and worries in little, subtle ways. Through the experience, I got to interact with people whom I never talk to before in class. I've learnt so much from their experience, their perspectives on issues and their life stories... And I've also learn not to "judge a book by it's cover". I can't believe a person that I thought was Ah-beng-ish, is actually someone who has really strong faith and belief in God. It impressed me...
God works in many mysterious ways, indeed!
P.S.: Jordan, do you recall how co-incidentally we met and made up after our heated arguement? Amazing isn't it???
08 March 2005
A fresh look?
my new haircut!
I've got so many NEW stuff suddenly....
**NEW STUFF**
1. Hair-cut - Jordan's present to me.. I'm definately not complaining! hehe.. I like it what.. You can see how it looks like! Pic above...
2. Name - Upon baptism, I'll be known as Candice Dymphna(new!) Ng Yun Tian
3. Wallet - Choppie Ke-U-ty and Choppie Sexy brought me a GUESS wallet for B'day. Really funky.. I like~~
4. Hamster - Newest member to the family... Lemmiwinks(named after e lab rat in South Park, my cheeky bro's idea).. Courtesy of Kelvin Pang.. haha..
5. Flip-flops - Cool techni-colour flip-flops from my classmates! Woo-hoo!
04 March 2005
It's my birthday!
My birthday was a simple but heartwarming event.. I must thank all my friends who made it happened...
*Dan*:
Thanks for calling me from London. You'll always find a friend in me...
*The Choppies*:
You girls were so darn sweet... Dan and Cher, I wanna thank u guys for singing for me.. You girls have the sweetest voice! Tine, thanks for msging me from Aust! Selvy, thanks for the raving night! I wanna hug all of you at the same time! But I can't..
:(
*All those who were with me at Zouk*:
Thanks for the whole night of booze and moves... I had a time of my life...
*My NAFA classmates*:
The UK trip has really strenghten our bond.. Sorry that I couldn't treat you guys! You guys were a fun bunch!!
*New and Old friends*:
I really appreciate your greetings and birthday wishes! Just so happy to hear from all of you!!! Take care and let's keep in touch!!!
*Dan*:
Thanks for calling me from London. You'll always find a friend in me...
*The Choppies*:
You girls were so darn sweet... Dan and Cher, I wanna thank u guys for singing for me.. You girls have the sweetest voice! Tine, thanks for msging me from Aust! Selvy, thanks for the raving night! I wanna hug all of you at the same time! But I can't..
:(
*All those who were with me at Zouk*:
Thanks for the whole night of booze and moves... I had a time of my life...
*My NAFA classmates*:
The UK trip has really strenghten our bond.. Sorry that I couldn't treat you guys! You guys were a fun bunch!!
*New and Old friends*:
I really appreciate your greetings and birthday wishes! Just so happy to hear from all of you!!! Take care and let's keep in touch!!!
01 March 2005
Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... Nothing last in this world anymore. Not any material, not even emotions... Infidelity, betrayal, abuse, insolency, hurt... eventually leads to HATE... Funny how this unspoken four-letter word has the cancerous power to devour saneness of some. Funny how the angel you once loved turn his back and snap right back at you... The situation turns cynical and hate burns like a fire within you... The aftermath? Ashes settle...The once-smouldering passion has converted to useless particles... Waiting to be carried away by the wind of time...
*Wedlock Marriages*
The reason of a wedlock marriage, obviously, is because of an unexpected pregnancy between an unmarried couple. Being "forced" to the decision, true meaning of marriage is lost. Couples, that I've met, both old and young, who married out of wedlock mostly end up being unhappy or unsatisfied with their partners and in most cases, the family do not have a close-knitted relationship. Perhaps they feel that they could have accomplish more, without the marriage, without the baby, or some simply feel that they had married the wrong person.
My aunty, for example, was married out of wedlock. I was shock to learn that she wed my uncle because she was conceiving my cousin. Pre-maritial sex was uncommon, especially with the more conservative older generation. However, that's besides my point. My uncle was this petite little man, always smiling, good-natured and happy-go-lucky... Some call him the typical "hen-pecked" husband. My aunty on the other hand, always feeling that she married the wrong man, overly obsess with superstitions (believe me.. she goes overboard sometimes!!). She's a good woman.. But her mouth's always rattling away like a machine gun. One day, many many many years after their marriage, my uncle snapped! He couldn't take her tauntings anymore. He openly womanised, got drunk, be harshed to her and everything else that wasn't him initially. Sure he's having a ball of a time, but I bet the both of them are living in misery deep down in their hearts...
I've also heard similar stories from the younger generation. It didn't end up happy either.. There's always a regret here and there..
My rationale: Never let the reason to get marriage be other than "LOVE" and "COMMITMENT". Be responsible for your own sexual behaviour... Please.. Always use some form of protective.. Come on... Condoms are not expensive...
Think about yourself and your happiness... and the path you are going to lay for your offsprings...
*Wedlock Marriages*
The reason of a wedlock marriage, obviously, is because of an unexpected pregnancy between an unmarried couple. Being "forced" to the decision, true meaning of marriage is lost. Couples, that I've met, both old and young, who married out of wedlock mostly end up being unhappy or unsatisfied with their partners and in most cases, the family do not have a close-knitted relationship. Perhaps they feel that they could have accomplish more, without the marriage, without the baby, or some simply feel that they had married the wrong person.
My aunty, for example, was married out of wedlock. I was shock to learn that she wed my uncle because she was conceiving my cousin. Pre-maritial sex was uncommon, especially with the more conservative older generation. However, that's besides my point. My uncle was this petite little man, always smiling, good-natured and happy-go-lucky... Some call him the typical "hen-pecked" husband. My aunty on the other hand, always feeling that she married the wrong man, overly obsess with superstitions (believe me.. she goes overboard sometimes!!). She's a good woman.. But her mouth's always rattling away like a machine gun. One day, many many many years after their marriage, my uncle snapped! He couldn't take her tauntings anymore. He openly womanised, got drunk, be harshed to her and everything else that wasn't him initially. Sure he's having a ball of a time, but I bet the both of them are living in misery deep down in their hearts...
I've also heard similar stories from the younger generation. It didn't end up happy either.. There's always a regret here and there..
My rationale: Never let the reason to get marriage be other than "LOVE" and "COMMITMENT". Be responsible for your own sexual behaviour... Please.. Always use some form of protective.. Come on... Condoms are not expensive...
Think about yourself and your happiness... and the path you are going to lay for your offsprings...
28 February 2005
PISCES WOMAN
I should assume I'm a typical Pisces.. It very much describes me.. take a read if you are interested to know me beyond face-value... Anyway.. the language sucks.. And I'm not responsible for it.. hahahah...
PISCES WOMAN
She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boyfriend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and gifted in training animals. She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy.
She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin. Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether she has a man in her life or not, she will never try to over-power any man. It's not even in her thought. She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy with you for what you are now. A Pisces woman, if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her, then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next. A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong.
You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie. She is a dreamer and loves the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well. Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total different person before and after. She can be an angle before and later a witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out. She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone. She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her. Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angel.
PISCES WOMAN
She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality. She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love". She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boyfriend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love. More or less it will be in Pisces woman. She loves small animal and gifted in training animals. She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature. Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover. She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy.
She likes to buy and pick her own cloths. She likes to dress cute and be cute. Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin. Her hands and feet are small and soft. Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them. She is a hot lady that everyone wants her. Whether she has a man in her life or not, she will never try to over-power any man. It's not even in her thought. She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way. She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy. She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy. She knows how to please and how to comfort a man. If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now. She is happy with you for what you are now. A Pisces woman, if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person. She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself. She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take. If you love her, then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next. A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong.
You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie. She is a dreamer and loves the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well. Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman. She can be a total different person before and after. She can be an angle before and later a witch, but everyone is not perfect, right? She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry. She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt. She is the type who can cry her heart out. She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone. She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy. She does not like to follow any fixed rules. She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her. Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angel.
First Scrutiny
Once again.. I was late for mass this morning. I literally spent 2 days preparing for it. I slept like 18 hours on Saturday just to make sure I can wake up at 8am on Sunday.. But still.. I was LATE!! Well, it's not just any ordinary mass.. But it's the rite of my first scrunity.. The priest anointed us on our foreheads and hands with oil and prayed over us. Next week is the second scrunity and counting down to Easter, aka Baptism Date... I can't wait.. hahaha..
22 February 2005
Tortured souls...
Feelings... They have set their sweet and bitter ways at tormenting our souls.
Love & Hate... They intertwine.. They work meticulously, and at the same time, recklessly.. They build and destroy...
In life... we all play the little game of love & hate sometimes. Some played too hard, some don't give a damn.. Once in a while, we got trapped in it, all alone. That's when you learn and grow...
Tonight.. I had this really private chat with my close friend's ex-boyfriend. I'm really curious about their hush-hush break up. I didn't really know what went wrong between the both of them until tonight. Besides the physical distance between them, there's more than meets the eye. Well... Not gonna let out too much details. Somehow, this guy let me into his personal thoughts and inner feelings. Some stuff that he should really be telling my friend, instead of me. To be frank, I'm really touched by his words. The feeling lingers... It tortured him...
Maybe my friend's feeling the same way too.. Maybe she's not.. I don't know. If her feelings still stays for him.. why do they want to put each other through these? If not, what can he do to end this suffering? to ease his pain?
Death is not the end. Every ending spells a new beginning.. And life is beautiful. It is indeed... But depends on how u see it. I wish this guy would break away from the shadow of gloom.. Step outside and take a deep breathe...
Love & Hate... They intertwine.. They work meticulously, and at the same time, recklessly.. They build and destroy...
In life... we all play the little game of love & hate sometimes. Some played too hard, some don't give a damn.. Once in a while, we got trapped in it, all alone. That's when you learn and grow...
Tonight.. I had this really private chat with my close friend's ex-boyfriend. I'm really curious about their hush-hush break up. I didn't really know what went wrong between the both of them until tonight. Besides the physical distance between them, there's more than meets the eye. Well... Not gonna let out too much details. Somehow, this guy let me into his personal thoughts and inner feelings. Some stuff that he should really be telling my friend, instead of me. To be frank, I'm really touched by his words. The feeling lingers... It tortured him...
Maybe my friend's feeling the same way too.. Maybe she's not.. I don't know. If her feelings still stays for him.. why do they want to put each other through these? If not, what can he do to end this suffering? to ease his pain?
Death is not the end. Every ending spells a new beginning.. And life is beautiful. It is indeed... But depends on how u see it. I wish this guy would break away from the shadow of gloom.. Step outside and take a deep breathe...
17 February 2005
Fundamentals of Majong...
Today was a dreadful day!! I've been trapped at home doing work. Urgh!!! After that 10,000 word dissertation, now I'll have to complete another one.. Not that heavy in word count.. but not much lighter. 6K loh... :(
Very grim for the whole week already... But perks of the day? haha.. Mom bought roasted duck and bak kwa!! Wah.. haha.. At least I have a good dinner lah..
Then Jordan came to visit and we had coffee after that. Since nothing to do, so he explained the fundamentals of Majong to me. I was never interested in Majong till I met him.. Well, he's downright obsessed with the game.. So I guess it'll be good that I learn.. It was kinda confusing.. all that "Wan's", "bamboo's", "tong's" and stuff.. But I'm keen. Cause gambling for leisure could be fun... So many of my friends are playing it. How can I be left out??.. haha..
Very grim for the whole week already... But perks of the day? haha.. Mom bought roasted duck and bak kwa!! Wah.. haha.. At least I have a good dinner lah..
Then Jordan came to visit and we had coffee after that. Since nothing to do, so he explained the fundamentals of Majong to me. I was never interested in Majong till I met him.. Well, he's downright obsessed with the game.. So I guess it'll be good that I learn.. It was kinda confusing.. all that "Wan's", "bamboo's", "tong's" and stuff.. But I'm keen. Cause gambling for leisure could be fun... So many of my friends are playing it. How can I be left out??.. haha..
15 February 2005
V-day Special!
Do you believe that role-playing can be fun? haha.. Well.. Jordi and me played Chefs today.. At that, Italian chefs to be specific.. We whipped up a few dishes for each other and also his family.. haha.. so nothing too kinky...
The dory was too saltish and the carbonara turned out like hokkien mee.. haha.. It has to be a different kind of Valentines this year. Such a simple affair but enjoyable and memorable too.
This is supposed to be our 4th Valentines, but it's still our 3rd. In retrospect, I should have realised what I had missed out on. It was the past. Still I regret rejecting Jordi on our "supposing" 1st v-day.
**Saving the damsel in distress**
It was CNY eve, 2002, and one sms altered our lives... I was having some serious issues with my ex-boyfriend and we had sort-of broken up. So Jordi plainly msg me some greetings for CNY and V-day (since it was just a few days away).. I told him that I don't have plans on V-day. And he asked me if I'm having problems with my bf and I said yah.. I sounded sad, so he called me and talked to me. It was weird, coz all along Jordan was just an acquaintance and I'm talking to him for the first time.. for real. I managed to pour out my woes and he listened. He consoled and we chatted about other things. Both of us felt connected and silently my heart was pounding away when he asked me out for a Valentine's date.
Well, that date didn't happened, cause apparently I screwed things up by going on a date with my ex-bf instead. And he even got flowers and a present for me. I just hang in guilt whenever I recalled that. Eventually, we got hitched, but it wasn't easy initially. All the harassment and abuse from my bastard ex-bf took its toll on my emotions but Jordan was there to nourish it. Many thought I was on a rebound and the relationship ain't gonna last. But I guess 3 years is enough to prove anyone wrong.
Being with him, it feels right. He has become my needs, my want and desire. haha.. too mushy already.. Got a feeling that I'm conjuring goosepimples. Happy Valentines, everyone!!!
The dory was too saltish and the carbonara turned out like hokkien mee.. haha.. It has to be a different kind of Valentines this year. Such a simple affair but enjoyable and memorable too.
This is supposed to be our 4th Valentines, but it's still our 3rd. In retrospect, I should have realised what I had missed out on. It was the past. Still I regret rejecting Jordi on our "supposing" 1st v-day.
**Saving the damsel in distress**
It was CNY eve, 2002, and one sms altered our lives... I was having some serious issues with my ex-boyfriend and we had sort-of broken up. So Jordi plainly msg me some greetings for CNY and V-day (since it was just a few days away).. I told him that I don't have plans on V-day. And he asked me if I'm having problems with my bf and I said yah.. I sounded sad, so he called me and talked to me. It was weird, coz all along Jordan was just an acquaintance and I'm talking to him for the first time.. for real. I managed to pour out my woes and he listened. He consoled and we chatted about other things. Both of us felt connected and silently my heart was pounding away when he asked me out for a Valentine's date.
Well, that date didn't happened, cause apparently I screwed things up by going on a date with my ex-bf instead. And he even got flowers and a present for me. I just hang in guilt whenever I recalled that. Eventually, we got hitched, but it wasn't easy initially. All the harassment and abuse from my bastard ex-bf took its toll on my emotions but Jordan was there to nourish it. Many thought I was on a rebound and the relationship ain't gonna last. But I guess 3 years is enough to prove anyone wrong.
Being with him, it feels right. He has become my needs, my want and desire. haha.. too mushy already.. Got a feeling that I'm conjuring goosepimples. Happy Valentines, everyone!!!
10 February 2005
Cheong Sam Day!
Woah.. I'm wearing a cheong sam for the first time.. For the sake of auspicious-ness in Chinese New Year..Breaking out of my comfort zone isn't something I would do everyday... But it's CNY.. WTF... It's not too bad being in my "little red dress" you know. Nothing can go wrong with something totally red in CNY.. esp the part where none of ur relative will complain about wearing the wrong colours or ur outfit being too revealing and stuff...
Somehow or rather, my intuition tells me that the Rooster year might be a good year.. Not that I believe in those feng shui magazines my mom read.. But the year started off really well.. There are some happy news.. Even my aunty who "disowned" the family had eventually relent and called to wish us today.. For nearly 10 years, my family was devestated with my aunty's decision to reject the kinship that was lost before. Well.. the story goes like she was sub-out for adoption due to the heavy burden of a large family.. Then she was only called back to her own family in her teens. I guess it was difficult for her to accept the new "ways" and was stuck in the chao of conflicts, so she opted out of it. Actually I was very disappointed with her when she didn't even turn up for my grandma's funeral. Her own mother.. mind u.. Seriously.. I don't have the heart to do that.. No matter how much I hate my mom.. After all, blood is, indeed, thicker than water. I just hope that this is the beginning to their reconciliation...
Somehow or rather, my intuition tells me that the Rooster year might be a good year.. Not that I believe in those feng shui magazines my mom read.. But the year started off really well.. There are some happy news.. Even my aunty who "disowned" the family had eventually relent and called to wish us today.. For nearly 10 years, my family was devestated with my aunty's decision to reject the kinship that was lost before. Well.. the story goes like she was sub-out for adoption due to the heavy burden of a large family.. Then she was only called back to her own family in her teens. I guess it was difficult for her to accept the new "ways" and was stuck in the chao of conflicts, so she opted out of it. Actually I was very disappointed with her when she didn't even turn up for my grandma's funeral. Her own mother.. mind u.. Seriously.. I don't have the heart to do that.. No matter how much I hate my mom.. After all, blood is, indeed, thicker than water. I just hope that this is the beginning to their reconciliation...
04 February 2005
My knight in shiny armor has saved me.. once again..
Being vexed about my bread-and-butter has been a weekly thing to me.. Every Sunday, I'll get that precious 50 bucks from my dad.. Then I'll "try" not to splurge it out at one shot.. The few months that I've been studying has been terrible.. I've to scrimp and save to make this $50 last throughout the week.
I hate this kind of lifestyle!!! And I'm sick of depending on them for that puny teeny wee bit of pocket money.. As always.. It's better that I earn my own.. I've been quite reluctant about this idea since I really wanna concentrate on my Degree.. Seems like it's impossible to bear anymore. No money for New Year clothes, no extra $$ for movies and entertainment from them.. This is HELL...
So today, I grabbed a copy of Classified and went for a couple of interviews. Well, one of the cafes are interested in hiring.. and asked me to start asap. Being desperate, I accepted. But my dear Jordan insist that I should put my concentration back on my studies since I'm just a few months away from graduation and even offer to help me out if the need arises.. It's true.. I don't wanna screw up as well.
Jordan's such a darling. He's always there to lend me a listening ear.. a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand for the damsel in distress.. He must be God's gift to me.. and I'm so blessed to have him by my side.. through ups and downs... He stood there as sturdy as a rock in our relationship and held me back whenever I tried to break-up. Dear Jordi.. This is what I should say to you.. what you once told me before..
"Within u i found myself
Without u i lost myself
Waiting to be found again..."
I hate this kind of lifestyle!!! And I'm sick of depending on them for that puny teeny wee bit of pocket money.. As always.. It's better that I earn my own.. I've been quite reluctant about this idea since I really wanna concentrate on my Degree.. Seems like it's impossible to bear anymore. No money for New Year clothes, no extra $$ for movies and entertainment from them.. This is HELL...
So today, I grabbed a copy of Classified and went for a couple of interviews. Well, one of the cafes are interested in hiring.. and asked me to start asap. Being desperate, I accepted. But my dear Jordan insist that I should put my concentration back on my studies since I'm just a few months away from graduation and even offer to help me out if the need arises.. It's true.. I don't wanna screw up as well.
Jordan's such a darling. He's always there to lend me a listening ear.. a shoulder to cry on and a helping hand for the damsel in distress.. He must be God's gift to me.. and I'm so blessed to have him by my side.. through ups and downs... He stood there as sturdy as a rock in our relationship and held me back whenever I tried to break-up. Dear Jordi.. This is what I should say to you.. what you once told me before..
"Within u i found myself
Without u i lost myself
Waiting to be found again..."
03 February 2005
Tug-of-war: Saint vs Demon
Everyday, I'm inching nearer to my baptism.. I'm pretty certain about my faith in God.. However, my parents thinks that I'm too young to make up my mind on these things. They assumed it's a blind infatuation I'm having.
Actually, I'm torn between my faith and my parents. I want their blessing - wholeheartedly... But they are still using their old-time thinking that Christians are extreme.. Like as if I'll disown them when I embrace God. Sheesh...
On my part, I'm afraid I can't fulfill my duty as a good Catholic. I tend to do the things that aren't meant to be. I can only summarise it as the tug of war between God and Satan... It's happening in my mind all the time.. I can't be really good.. but i don't wanna be really bad.. haha.. It's so complex...
On a happier note, the pineapple tart cum bak kwa season is back with a vengence!! hehehe.. Chinese New Year!! Yum!!! I can't resist them and I've been popping pineapple tarts one after another... they are so good tat i'll have to say "Once u start, u can't stop.." hahaha.. Looking forward to CNY.. With bits of goodies, extras $$ and holidays..
Actually, I'm torn between my faith and my parents. I want their blessing - wholeheartedly... But they are still using their old-time thinking that Christians are extreme.. Like as if I'll disown them when I embrace God. Sheesh...
On my part, I'm afraid I can't fulfill my duty as a good Catholic. I tend to do the things that aren't meant to be. I can only summarise it as the tug of war between God and Satan... It's happening in my mind all the time.. I can't be really good.. but i don't wanna be really bad.. haha.. It's so complex...
On a happier note, the pineapple tart cum bak kwa season is back with a vengence!! hehehe.. Chinese New Year!! Yum!!! I can't resist them and I've been popping pineapple tarts one after another... they are so good tat i'll have to say "Once u start, u can't stop.." hahaha.. Looking forward to CNY.. With bits of goodies, extras $$ and holidays..
02 February 2005
Revamp!
Alright.. Managed to do something different from the boring "DEFAULT" template from blogger. Phew! Hard work indeed..
Ok.. More motivated to do updates.. Not as in 3 months once.. Got to start writing and stop the procrastination!!!
Ok.. More motivated to do updates.. Not as in 3 months once.. Got to start writing and stop the procrastination!!!
Idiot blogger.... RESURRECTED!
Ho ho... I've gave up on my Blog and now making a come-back.. Phew! Managed to kill my 10,000-word dissertation on time.. But grades wise.. better not think first..
Just celebrated Jordan's birthday yesterday.. Today's my bro's. Well.. reminding myself that i'll be a year older in a month's time.. Turning 22 is not cool. I'm starting to think i'm losing out on my youth. Sheesh.. I've been reading Blogs of people slightly younger than me.. They seem to be having so much more fun than me when I'm their age. I guess.. the lamest thought.. is to feel "younger" by working on my Blog again..
Seriously.. It's really degrading.. esp since I'm a Multimedia Design student! Golly!! Haha.. No probs with Flash or Photoshop.. But Blogging seems like something I've never learnt in school.
Just celebrated Jordan's birthday yesterday.. Today's my bro's. Well.. reminding myself that i'll be a year older in a month's time.. Turning 22 is not cool. I'm starting to think i'm losing out on my youth. Sheesh.. I've been reading Blogs of people slightly younger than me.. They seem to be having so much more fun than me when I'm their age. I guess.. the lamest thought.. is to feel "younger" by working on my Blog again..
Seriously.. It's really degrading.. esp since I'm a Multimedia Design student! Golly!! Haha.. No probs with Flash or Photoshop.. But Blogging seems like something I've never learnt in school.
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