Today, I felt like I'm on the peak of moody's point. Even clumsy line-dancing aunties can't twitch my mouth to a smile. For today it's a sad day. 'Cause, I've silently marked the unremarkable death of a friendship.
Seriously, do you guys ever had a friend you considered as your best-ie at one point of time in life? Someone you thought will be your soul-mate for life? Someone you see being your bridesmaid/bestman at your wedding? Someone who will be god-parent to your kids? And what-so-ever beautiful things friendship can paint? This is the very naive dream I believed in someone I've known for years. However, the dreams had ceased...
The hang-over from a disillusioning concoction followed. Tears flowed with flashbacks of our already-extinct happy times. And she don't know shit. 'Cause we don't do emo. Perhaps like men, sharing of emotions are for wussy friends. "We are fun-loving people! Yeah..." Whatever... That was a couple of years back.
Since then, I've long come to terms with how acquainted we are. I guess we are just different afterall. And I'm not exactly the coolest kid in town. Why would anyone be bothered with me? So fuck it. Life goes on and shit.
You might be asking. Perhaps it's some misunderstanding or you're just so fucking sensitive. And maybe I am sensitive. Remember.. Emos are for wussies. Well, wussy little me.
The fatal stab happened not too long ago. I've borrowed something from her. Let's just say, a laptop mouse. I understand that she's leaving for her studies down-under and she needed it. So we tried to arrange a time to meet up. Well, meet up for what? To simply pass her the mouse or to have time for a good solid good-bye? I always thought it's the latter. But in her messages to me, I can only feel that she wants the mouse badly. One of the messages read "I'm really not in the mood to wait anymore. I really need that thing. Thanks." Wussy little me felt so disappointed. So so disappointed. No mention of a chance of meeting? "Yeah, see you tomorrow or something." I thanked her nonetheless for helping in my time of need. Mission accomplished. Don't think there's a need for some solid good-byes.
Mushy good-byes are for wussies too..
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