I realised how your perception of life is exactly how it is going to be. If you think it's smooth sailing, it'll be.. Even when you are riding through rough patches, you know you are going to get over it someday. However, if you think that the whole world owes you a living and everyone is against you, then there is never gonna be a happy moment.
I have one such person in my family. She has given me life but not exactly the warmth of what a family should be. She's a total drama queen. I know... It's a terrible sin to bitch about your own mother. But I really can't stand her. She commands, I obliged. And she wanted more. Sheesh... And her most ultimate and powerful weapon... Her tears... Once she cries, everyone starts accusing me, be it whether I'm right or wrong. I don't even have a chance to explain or redeem myself.
She makes a big hoo haa over every single teeny weeny issues. That's her so-called poise of an empress dowager. And she claims that it's us (her family) that made her blood pressure really high and one day she's gonna die. Well, the other most frequently used tactic is to scream like a mad person and afterwhich, wail loudly to lament how awful she is just to be alive, the dialogue as predicted will goes something like that, (theatrically) "Oh heaven! What on earth have I done in my previous life to deserve the suffering I go through now? In my next life, please let me incarnate as a cow! I'm sure to be happier that way. Pleeeaaassee...... Wish me a quick death..." blah blah blah.. Stuff of that nature.. and almost as part of the routine, will attempt acts like opening the window and putting one leg out or taking a knife and threaten to commit sucide. The first few times she attempted, we panicked. Now, I'll just wait and see... After all, to take your own life takes alot of courage. Because from past experiences, she did drive me to the extend of trying to killing myself, but I had cold feet at the last hour.
Plus, she likes to talk bad about people and try to put others in bad light. Yeah.. She is a bad-case of severe self-denying. Working as a secretary, mind you.. normal secretary, not even confidential secretary, ok!... She complains about being under paid.. Please loh. $1800 is not low. And she put herself in high regard. I know, she's from River Valley High, attained A'levels', pretty good for the 1970's standard. But she don't know how to be thankful just to get a job at her age. How can she ever be contented. Seriously, I have never in my whole life met anyone bitcher than that. I felt bad having to say all these about my mom. I'm supposed to love my mom... I wouldn't say I don't love her but it's hard to accept her attitude, not at times, rather it's all the time. PMS everyday, every hour, every min ok!
My maternal aunties are identical to my mom. Together, they can be Zhen Qin II (you know the super bloody long Hong Kong drama series). Actually it's longer-running than that Zhen Qin ok! Very juicy storyline... issues revolving the broken family, youngest sister disowning the family, the re-union, the divorce, the shot-gun marriages, the boot-licking to richer relatives, their brother's sucided link to demon possession... blah blah blah... Well, there are definately many skeletons in my family's closet. Some which I know, some I think I better not know.
This is just a part of my life. And I regard it as a small percentage. I wanna look at it this way because I chose to. Everything is the matter of choice. The end of the world is never here until you summon it.
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