Melt down.

I'm melting down... Fast... I don't know how much longer can I be optimistic especially when failures kept coming your way. For one I know. I have failed as a designer. My designs are cliche, unattractive as often criticized. Someone hinted that my review at the end of the year ain't gonna be good. I'm not a good worker though I'm really trying my very best to be one. I have bloody tight deadlines at work and I have been working far too much OT. I just had a heated arguement with my superior yesterday (there goes the review!). My job hunt went in no avail and I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life in future. Cause everytime I made a plan, there'll bound to be cock-ups and eventually leads to the big failure. So tell me, how many times can you tell yourself that you believe in yourself when you failed time after time?

Plus, the hectic schedule is taking a toll on my personal life. My pile of laundry is overflowing the basket and as usual, my room is in a mess. And it has been 4 days since I last saw my bro at home.

For all that, I'm tired. I'm frustrated. And I'm depressed. I wished I have the courage to end my life now and it didn't have to be a sin.

I told people that I'm cruising on stress, as if I can really handle it well. But I don't... 'cause I'm human too...